Why people have affairs?
Speak about a loaded matter that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on since millennium. Extramarital relationships can be fraught with troubles, cause despair, and other troubles. In addition you must wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety matter, funds, age difference, faith upbringing, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I will identify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, date married woman.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are man seeking woman for affair. I suppose typically though it is just the human condition, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and fun, and sex makes us get away the world for a brief period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Someone are able to turn the wish on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos the world has erected against extramarital affairs. For many people the yearnings will defeat their doubts and make them risk the fury of not only their family, but the public as well. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is extremely good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not injure your relatives or anybody else? You will need to lessen the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest grouping, gigantic really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they feel comfortable in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to consider. Your funds are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An affair sometimes solves the trouble while keeping the marriage whole.
Ignoring, sadly this is a common groung I fear. One or the other, frequently the male is sexually neglecting his wife for a tones of reasons. As a male I really appreciate you guys neglecting your ladies and making them accessible to us males of romance, making them “hot milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, could be caring is vanished, could be it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Maybe we have simply developed separately, our ordinary concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is conflicting of what you want. Maybe I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they seek the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for economic gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.